Pussycat,pussycat, where have you been?

I've been to - places...
Been busy working too
Plus there's some problem with the computer at home, hence no internet access.

Anyway, here's a brief update.

1. Been to Masjid Negeri, Shah Alam to listen to Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qardawi
That was on 2 Muharram. Went there with Mak and Ayah. It was good to witness the masjid being full - Malaysiakini reported that there were 4000 in attendance, but it sure felt like there were more. It was good to see that there were more young people in attendance - mothers with kids and babies in tow, college and high school students and all...

2. Been to PPUM and was told that my son might have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder).
No, not Huzaifah. It was Humaidi that got the doctor concerned. Got an appointment to see a paediatrician for a more thorough check-up on January 11th.
Symptoms?
Constantly in motion - like I said, my sons are always on the go, on the go, on the go...
Showing destructive behaviour - like throwing stuff and 'gomol'ing people. In fact, when the doctor gave him a pen, he shook it so hard that it scratched the doctor's right cheek.
Often talking excessively - but using unrecognisable words. He's late in learning how to converse because he has difficulty following after the adult who introduced 'normal' words to him.

3. Been to Sarawak - for the first time in my life
This deserves an entry on its own... Tungguuu...

4. Been to the clinic because I got the red eyes...
And got MC for the last 4 days in 2009
Oh well...

Salam Maal Hijrah

Picture taken from here

To all Muslim readers,

Happy New Hijri Year 1431

Ya Allah,

Most Gracious, Most Benevolent

Please forgive us for all our sins

Grant us the strength to live in accordance with the Quran and Sunnah

Grant us good health so that we may continue to make more good deeds

Grant us prosperity so that we can give more to those in need

and shower Your blessings on us

and keep us on Your guided path at all times

so that we may die in Iman and in Islam
Amin ya Rabbal Aa'lamin

Year End Lunch - more pics!

This entry is especially for you, Ju.
With all my love.
(and little bits of *evil grins* hehehe)

Sambal goreng Anizz

Asam Pedas Ikan kembong 'Jusa CC' Marziah

Telur dadar (bakal-pengantin) Fairuz


Daging masak lemak cili api A.Z.

Ayam Masak Merah Ernie

Sambal telur Emma

Ikan terubuk masin Yan

Sayur campur Yana

Ayam goreng crispy Idy

Mixed fruit & nata de coco Pudding

Pulut inti Hardi

Spaghetti Bolognese Nabilah

(I put this last because I know this might be the least envious stuff for you since there are plenty of this in Switzerland)

Help!

I've been using Haloscan commenting system since...I can't remember when, but right now it seems like forever.

And now they are moving to Echo by JS-Kit (yup I know you must be grinning reading this, Kit). If I want to retain my old Haloscan comments, I can do it by joining Echo - for a fee of almost USD10 a month. And since I'm not a serious blogger who makes money from my blog, I prefer to revert to Blogger commenting system which is free.

However, reverting to Blogger system means none of those comments on Haloscan will appear because Blogger can't support importing of comments. I've saved the previous comments on Haloscan in my computer, but they won't appear on the blog. Which is a pity - because sometimes the comments form an extension of sort for the particular blog entry.

Does anybody know what should I do to sort of import the comments on blogger or importing to any other commenting system that can be used for free?
Thanks in advance!

Year End Lunch

Yus had been transferred as the Executive Officer of the sub-department, rather than merely the EO of the sector since October.
We were unsure whether or not to hold a farewell lunch for her because she's not exactly 'transferred' in one sense, since we still get to regularly see her and work with her, only that she's no longer under our sector.

Then, recently two of the officers in our sector - Azhan and Anuar, got their promotion. Azhan is retained in the sector while Anuar has been transferred to another department. So yesterday we had a pot-luck lunch in the office - a farewell lunch for Yus & Anuar as well as the sectoral Year End Lunch since many officers will start taking their Year End (long) break beginning next week, including the sector's boss.

Yesterday was a hiruk pikuk day due to me forgetting to renew my road tax in advance. I wanted to renew it on the day before by using MyEG service, but since it was the day before my road tax expired (15 December 2009), the Customer service guy who answered my phone call politely advised me to go to a JPJ office for a prompt service since the JPJ server was down, making it difficult to instantly process the renewal of road tax online. However since I already spent one whole morning in the clinic - it was inappropriate for me to spend the same afternoon to go outside the office unless I took a leave (but I already carried forward the balance of my annual leave to next year, which means I have no more leaves this year except those which were already approved by the bosses - for next week, insya Allah).

Since it was already D Day - I had to renew my license yesterday, by hook or by crook. I thought to get it done and over with quickly in the morning. So I walked to Parcel D to JPJ Putrajaya - only to be told that the service counters are undergoing renovation and are temporarily closed for the time being. I was advised to go to Bangi instead.

Walked back to Parcel C - and made it a point to call up the Post Office in Alamanda to check whether or not I could renew my road tax in their branch. You know - out of fear that the JPJ server might be down or something and I would be left with no choice but to go to a JPJ office. The guy who answered the call assured me that yes, they could process road tax renewal with a fee of RM2 and yes, the JPJ server was up and working well. No worries.

So I went to Alamanda and quickly got the matter settled. After all, I already bought the insurance policy online the day before, so alhamdulillah, getting my road tax renewal was a breeze. And unlike those days when I was in debt for my old Kancil/ Wira when I had to obtain the car's "geran" from the financier first, this time it is with me all the time because the Toyota Wish was already paid for in cash. No worries. (Except that the guy behind the counter in Alamanda Post Office made a blunder and printed an unnecessary stuff on the 'geran'. Geram sungguh, but what to do? Benda dah jadi...)

Back to the Year End/Farewell Lunch at the office.

The main theme was nasi campur, with each staff contributing a plate of dish (or two)

The menu, among others, include:

1. Ayam masak merah (Ernie)
2. Ikan Asam Pedas ('Jusa' CC Marziah)
3. Sayur goreng & Sambal goreng (Yana n Aniz)
4. Sambal tumis ikan bilis & sambal telur (Emma)

5. Daging Masak lemak cili api (me)

6. Ayam goreng crispy (Idy)
7. Ikan terubuk masin(Yan)
8. Telur dadar (Fairuz, groom-to-be in a week time)

9. Ulam

Additional menu include:

10. Spaghetti Bolognese (Nabilah)
11. Chicken pepper sausages with condiments

Desserts were:

12. Secret Recipe's Cappucino cheesecake

13. Blueberry chilled cheesecake

14. Oreo chilled cheesecake

15. Cheesecake (the 'normal' variant)

16. Pulut inti

17. Mixed fruit pudding

18. Sliced Fuji apples

All in all, it was a good lunch - the food delicious, the atmosphere friendly with lots of bantering, jokes and laughter.

Here's looking forward to a more productive (ahem ahem, 3 of the girls are hoping/praying/working towards adding another member to their respective family. No, not me lah - sheesh...) year ahead, insya Allah!

Anuar receiving his farewell git from the boss

Yus receiving her farewell (farewell ke?) gift

Part of the food galore

The cheesecakes! Yummy Yummy!

Birthday girls with the birthday cake (but it was cappucino, so I couldn't taste it...I can't take anything with coffee)

Line up, line up... Despite CC's initial worry about nasi tak cukup, there were plenty of food for everyone...

Spaghetti bolognese on banana leaf - interesting, eh?

Hairi and Faez suap-menyuap kek, ewah ewah...

Do it the traditional way - eating while sitting cross-legged

Part of the sectoral female staff

Kenyang perut, senang hati

A morning in the Clinic

I spent one whole morning in the clinic yesterday - for Baby Haniyya's 10 month check-up and Huzaifah needed to get a treatment for rashes. The crowd at the clinic was unusually large - we were there from 8.30 a.m. to almost 12.30 p.m. I supposed it has something to do with the school break, unstable weather conditions, and the fact that the electronic queue system went down. We waited more than an hour before our number was called for the registration, another hour for triage and yet another hour before being called by the doctor - yup, it was that bad. Good thing the clinic in Putrajaya has a play area, where I accompanied Huzaifah from time to time as we killed the waiting hours.

Haniyya 'bullied' by Ayah

Baby Haniyya is already 9.99 kg, alhamdulillah! He's a happy baby and I really love it everytime he turns his head from right to left when as we chant "La ilahaillallah". As cute as Humaidi used to be when as a baby, he nodded his head as he joined us chanting "Ya Latiff". Baby Haniyya eats lots of stuff now that he has already grown 5 teeth (3 upper front and 2 lower front). In fact yesterday, when we packed some sugared cream cracker biscuits for Huzaifah to the clinic, Haniyya was the one who ate a piece or two while Huzaifah simply let them untouched (instead he insisted on getting a packet of snacks sold at the clinic).

Happy Happy Haniyya (and Ibu)

Among the three boys, Haniyya seems to be the most 'manja', wanting to be picked up all the time compared to his more 'independent' brothers. I suspect it might have to do with the fact that he is used to having a bibik around, while his two brothers were raised by stay-at-home parents who prefer letting the baby develop his physical skills on the ground. And yes, it's more difficult to put Haniyya to sleep too since he prefers sleeping in a "gendongan" by the bibik (which I supposed is not that much different from being in a 'buaian', lulled by a bouncing movement). But all in all, he's a happy, healthy baby, alhamdulillah.

As for Huzaifah, he is prone to skin problems even as a baby. But over the weekend, he seemed to develop a really bad case of rashes. He was itchy all over and the itching progressively got worse - that it even affect his cheeks and ears and his face went all bloaty, which had never happened before. When hubby returned from Seremban on Sunday night and saw Huzaifah's condition - he immediately recognized Huzaifah's condition as itchiness that was caused from contact with caterpillar.

Hubby's notion seemed to be supported by the doctor who treated Huzaifah. She said that it's known that rashes due to contact with caterpillars will cause a bad outbreak of rashes for kids who already have skin problems. Poor Huzaifah - he could not sleep properly at nights due to the itchiness - which of course affected me as well because he would ask me (or his Bibik) to help him scratch all over his body, "Ibu gosok, Ujai gatal sini...Sini, Ibu... Sini... Sini...". Hubby said that he once experienced the caterpillar itch as a kid and was given an injection to control the itchiness from getting worse.

Huzaifah did not get any injection. The doctor prescribed a syrup for his allergic, an antibiotic syrup and two ointments - a moisturising one as well as betnovate to treat his rashes. The result is - at least he gets to sleep on his own without asking me to scratch all over his body.

Never knew about the caterpillar itch thingy until now. Well, that's what they say - we do learn a lot as our children grow up, making a mother's life an adventure in its own unique way.

"Ini gula Ujai... ini gula Ujai... ada baaanyak gula Ujai..."

While I was there, I consulted the doctor if she can tell if Huzaifah is a hyper-active child. So she spent some time observing Huzaifah who was jumping on the weighing scale. Before that, he scanned the consultation area and pointed at the pictures on the files which were arranged neatly on a rack as he responded to my questions regarding the pictures;

"Show me the airplane"
"What color is that car?"
"How many mosques are there?"
"Tell me the color of the train"
"How many green files are on the rack? Let's count them together..."

But he got easily bored with 'academic' stuff and quickly shifted to the weighing scale which was located on the opposite side of the rack. And he started jumping on the weighing scale when he noticed that the needles on the weighing scale moved when he did.

"My son doesn't know how to sit still. He's always on the move, on the move, on the move. What is your take on him, doctor?"

"He's four, right?"

"Yes"

"From my observation, he seems like a normal 4-year old. He's curious, yes, but that's normal for any 4-year old. Hyperactive children have troubles to sit still, stay quietor pay attention. They would not be able to concentrate and entertain your questions like your son did just now. They have trouble maintaining their focus "

"But he doesn't stop jumping, running, climbing and messing with his brother at home. He always have a 'project' going on. It's difficult to cope with him sometimes..."

"Oh, he's a creative boy. He just needs an outlet for his creativity. You just have to provide him enough outlets for his creativity. He is just a normal, growing up 4-year old..."

This is the second time I've been assured by a doctor that my son is 'just a normal' boy despite the many comments on him being hyperactive being thrown our way by others. I asked about his condition when he was still a baby - when he was observed by a child specialist on his 18 months check-up in Tokyo. Back then, I was already told that my fear of him being a hyperactive was unfounded. And now this.

But this time around, the doctor that we met was not a child specialist. Should I take him to see another child specialist for third opinion then?

Quick 1

Busy like crazy but been missing blogging...

1. Had a lovely dinner on our anniversary at Kensington Restaurant in Era Square near Terminal 2, Seremban. A western & fusion restaurant that seems to be hitting the right note with Malaysian food bloggers, and an affordable one too. The ambience is nice but no candle light dinner was served, contrary to what I was told when I made the reservation. But since we were already seated, we thought - never mind lah and ordered anyway. We had mushroom soup with garlic bread and prawn mango salad for starter; lamb chop & venison steak as the main entree and apple crumble (with ice cream) for dessert. Oh, and the not-to-be-missed huge air-flown from Canada, baked cheese oyster. Yummy! Food was fab, alhamdulillah although hubby was not too happy seeing bottles of wine lining up some tables. The waitress was obliging - I asked if they could play any other CD than the Christmassy one that was on, and she changed it to a light & easy CD (and romantic too - stuff like Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight" and Richard Marx's "Right Here Waiting").

We only managed to take some pictures of the soup when the camera's battery went dead. Oh well...

2. The kenduri of my brother in law went okay, alhamdulillah - although the "making of" and the "post-production" part was very tiring. No kidding.

SIL, wife of hubby's cousin & I in the process of hanging a self-made satin scallops in front of the house (so as to make it easy for guests to identify the rumah pengantin)

3. Dramas during in between the three functions (akad nikah, kenduri on the bridal side and kenduri sambut menantu on the groom side) include, among others, last minute lintang pukang shopping for bunga pahar, satin sheets to be turned into scallops, fresh flowers as cake decoration, a worrying episode of the eldest nephew in the family, Ahmad Hassan, experiencing acute pain in the chest, which after being inspected in Tuanku Jaafar Hospital, was diagnosed as some clutching of the nerve near his heart or something like that, plus receiving last minute goodies from well-meaning relatives who insist on them (souvenir face towels and bunjuts of jellies of various color and taste) forming part of the door gifts, Huzaifah tresspassing into a closed and locked kindergarden with Humaidi looking on while trying (and failed) to enter the kindergarden through closed gates and some huru haraness when the bridal side of the family came to the kenduri sambut menantu due to the caterer's lack of waiters/waitresses.

Ish, ish, ish, anak siapa lah tu ye?

"Ayah jangan pukul ok? Ujai nak keluar ni"

"Yelah, yelah Ayah tak pukul. Tapi Ujai jangan masuk dah, ok?. Tak Boleh. Salah. Tau?"

4. Should a Malaysian Malay newlywed couple opt for the honeymoon first or go and make the obligatory rounds of visits to the elderly before going for their honeymoon? I asked around in the office and the majority seems to believe that it is better to make the obligatory round of visits first before leaving for honeymoon. But what if one gets pregnant (bunting pelamin) before they could go for a 'proper' honeymoon? For the record, hubby and I spent our first week as husband and wife visiting relatives in Seremban and Kedah with just one night/day in Penang spent on our own. We planned on going back to PJ that night but we were both so tired from all the visits that we decided to spend the night in Penang on our way back from Kedah. Boy oh boy - it was really difficult finding a vacant room that night - school holidays, weekend and all. Alhamdulillah, we finally found one in Naza Hotel - yes, the very hotel we went for the family gathering during Eidul Fitri season this year.

5. Because my husband is not that 'jiwang' I don't usually consider him to be a romantic. Stuff like him refusing to give me flowers (even for my graduation) seem to support this notion. It wasn't until his aunt, Busu Bibah, pointed out that "Busu tengok korang selalu je pakai baju sama kaler" when it hit me that well, my husband is not that bad for a non-romantic husband. Busu went on to moan, "Pak Busu kau, hmm, jangan haraplah nak pakai baju sedondon ke apa ke..." Yes, like I said before, I am thankful for what hubby and I have and are together, alhamdulillah.

We both wore turquoise during BIL's akad nikah ceremony,

maroon during the bridal kenduri,

and golden yellow during the kenduri sambut menantu.

Go nen me no kinenbi

5 years!
In some ways it feels like forever, in others like it was just yesterday.

Alhamdulillah I must admit that it has been a wonderful and unforgettable 5 years of marriage.

1 plus 1 in 2004 now equals 5!

Baby Haniyya is going to be 10 months, Humaidi is 2.5 years and Huzaifah 4 years.
We have three children, have gone through different life experiences together (living apart in the 1st year, living as Mombusho-student-with-an-Imam-husband in Tokyo for 3 years and a year of what many would consider 'normal life' as government servants)
Alhamdulillah, I am happy to say that we are still moving forward together in our life journey, strengthening and maturing our bond and love for each other.

Oh yes, of course we get exhausted from our boisterous and highly energetic children and we might squabble about different viewpoints but alhamdulillah, so far we managed to work it out.
Oh yes, occassionally we found somebody telling us that I might have annoyed hubby, yet others would point out that I have higher tolerance and patience for his temper bursts compared to most women. Somebody would say that I made a lousy daughter-in-law and another would say that he made a lousy son-in-law too. We don't usually scream at each other, but admitedly, there were moments of resentment, 'bengang' and stuff every once in a blue moon.
Squabbles - what would married life be without them, eh?
"Gaduh-gaduh, bawa bahagia"...Or as Abraham Lincoln put it, "no matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens" (aww shucks...)

Anyway, while it might be easy to get lost in little frustrations and annoyances, when do we remember to look at things from a broader perspective, it really makes us thankful for what we have and are together...
Alhamdulillah.

I love you Abang.
More now than 5 years ago.
And looking forward to many, many more years for us to keep loving each other.
And keep falling in love with each other.
Again and again and again.
Insya Allah.

The Gift of a Smile

While McDonald's is no longer my usual hang-out place (unlike when I first started working in 1999 when I used to go to McD at least once in 2 weeks), I decided to have a Cheeseburger Happy Meal (the free toy for my son) while waiting for hubby last Sunday. He was attending to some business matter at Amcorp Tower while I had just finished book shopping at Big Bad Wolf Book Sale (it had gone down to RM5 a book today, the last day of the Sale).

Written on the pamhplet/tray cover was some brief information of Ronald McDonald House Charities (RHMC) Malaysia.

"200 smiles restored"

I was curious and read more for further explanation. Turned out that RMHC Malaysia runs the Gift of Smile Campaign for children born with cleft lip and palate defects, enabling the children to undergo corrective surgery at No Costs to the parents. I immediately picked up two application forms at the Information Counter.

There's a male clerk in the office whose baby girl was born with cleft lip. I didn't know about the baby's condition until we visited his house during Raya. She looked so fragile, all bundled in white in her playpen with her cleft lip, with her still-in-confinement mother looking at her, smiling at the guests yet trying to hold back some tears. It was heartbreaking. I wanted to hug the mother, but at that time I had to keep chasing after Huzaifah and Humaidi who were delighted in finding new spots to explore.

Since then I've been asking about baby Afina's development from time to time. Hairi confessed that back then his daughter was too young to undergo a corrective surgery but he had been assured that the doctors in Hospital Serdang, where she was born, would try to fix her condition once she reaches 3 months old.

I asked him about the cost.

He said that it was never really discussed with the doctors, so he suspects that they will first use the Guarantee Letter from the office - with him being a government servant and his daughter being treated in a government hospital - and he will pay for the cost by monthly deductions from his salary amounting the total cost.

So, yesterday, I went to his desk and handed over the application forms for Gift of Smile campaign, "I don't know if you had heard of this, but I saw this yesterday and I immediately thought of you"

"What is this Puan?"

I briefly explained what little I knew and recommended for him to try applying for it. He quickly scanned through the form. "But Puan, it's stated here that priority is given to families with household income of RM2,000 and below..."

"What's your household income, then?" I know that his wife is also a support staff, working for a government agency.

"A little bit over RM2,000"

"Just give it a try then. You never know if this is your daughter's rezeki"

"But Hospital Serdang had already set 29 January (2010) for my daughter's surgery"

"What's the cost then?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure. I was under the impression that I'll get monthly deductions from my salary after the operation is over"

This program is in partnership with ING Insurance and Pantai Hospital, so my guess is, the successful applicants would be treated at any of the Pantai Hospitals.

"If I were you, I would give it a shot. For one, if you got it, it's free. That means no deduction from your salary. You could instead use that portion of your salary to save for your daughter's education insurance or something..."

"Hmmm..."

"Try istikharah then. Ask for Allah's guidance. The surgery is set in late January - so you still have about 2 months from now..."

"Okay, I'll think about it"

They said that in Malaysia alone, 1 out of 600 babies is born with a cleft lip and palate. Out of the 570,000 babies born in this country, about 950 new cases are found each year. Corrective surgery for those born with cleft lip and defective palate are not cosmetic surgery. Chances are, if left untreated, a child born with cleft lip and palate would suffer from low self-esteem may experience breathing difficulties, speech and hearing problems, trouble in swallowing food and drinks, and facial growth impairments. Yet, in the first place, cleft lip and palate can easily be rectified with proper corrective surgery...

Here's praying for little baby Afina to have her smile restored again - with or without RHMC "The Gift of Smile Campaign" aid - insya Allah...

To give away...

So, yes, just like Kit wrote in her entry, I went to the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale on the first day - and burned a hole in my pocket.

My haul?
50 books (minus 1 later on, as I gave Julia Quinn's "The Lost Duke of Wyndham" to Kit) in one big box. The lady who was queuing next to me chuckled and asked if I would like to start a new library. I smiled back and answered that I already have a library and these are only add-ons. Of course, I initially picked almost 60 books, but on second thoughts, I only went back with the 50. And yes, the poor customer service boy who helped me with the heavy huge box, had to push the trolley (it was that heavy) all the way to Taman Jaya LRT station where the car was parked. We chatted a bit - and the boy told me that pushing the trolley filled with 1 box is not as difficult as carting 7 boxes for another customer earlier on, and Taman Jaya LRT is not as far as the end corner of Taman Jaya the park itself... I gave him a small tip of RM2 - to which he initially refused "eh tak payahlah" but I insisted "sikit je, buat minum". He grinned almost sheepishly, making me wondered - did others who got his help give him some small tip; especially if he had to walk further and help with bigger hauls?

*****

On Eidul Adha - it hit me that the amount I spent at the book sale could have easily been the cost for 1 portion of 'daging korban'.

Okay, I already, ahem, 'sacrificed' 1 book to Kit - because I knew it must have meant a lot to her since she already has started collecting Julia Quinn's UK cartoonish cover edition. It didn't take that much begging/pleading/whining from her because partly I already felt guilty for not remembering that "The Lost Duke of Wyndham" is on her wanted list and did not save a copy for her when I could. So Kit dear, consider that as my belated birthday present for you, okay?

I went back to Amcorp Mall yesterday - hoping to find books that I could read and then give away as presents while they are still in mint (as opposed to pre-loved) condition. To sort of 'sacrifice' the books away, in conjunction with the korban mood. I thought getting Chicken Soup books or books on management/leadership by John C Maxwell (all selling for RM10 each - yes that's how cheap they were) might do the trick. But unfortunately - there were only copies of Chicken Soup for Women Golfers left and none of the Maxwell book.

Yet, by the end of the evening, hubby and I spent more than RM200 on our second haul - mostly on coffee table books on cars, motorbikes and travel books.

So, should I give away some of the books I now have or wait until the next Big Bad Wolf Book Sale for a 'sacrifice' purchase? After all, giving away books - especially those I already owned - is a 'sacrifice' of sort for me. Like I told hubby - he can count on me not to overspend on clothes, bags, cosmetic or jewellery, but he has to bear with me when it comes to books...

(I don't have that many shoes too - but just got myself two pairs, at 50% discount, in the Year End Sale at Jusco. It's true, shoe shopping is almost always a positive experience for women - we don't have to diet to fit into shoes, and they never make our bum look big.)

Salam Eidul Adha

Selamat hari raya Aidil Adha.
semoga yang menunaikan ibadah haji tahun ini beroleh haji yang mabrur.
semoga yang menjalankan ibadah korban tahun ini diterima korbannya di sisi Allah.
dan semoga yang lainnya - termasuk empunya diri - sama-sama menghayati nilai dan memahami erti pengorbanan di hari raya Korban ini...

The lingering dilemma of the lingerie purchase...

Women in Saudi must still buy their bras and undies from male sales staff. While many finds it annoying, they don't have much choice because only men are hired as sales staff in most retail stores . So they have men selling g-strings to women, and grabbing push-up bras from the rack when customers complain that they need to push up sagging bosoms.

Ewww...

No wonder modern Saudi women buy their lingerie online or when they go abroad.

Apparently, it's not an easy situation for male sales staff too, as some finds it embarrassing to admit that they work in a lingerie shop.

One 21-year-old Saudi man who works in a lingerie chain called "Women's
Secret" is too embarrassed to tell his friends.

"I swear before I took this job, I never even went into these stores with my sisters and family because I was too embarrassed and now I work in one," he said.

"I told my buddies I am still unemployed and those of them who know I work think I work in a regular store," he added. "I can't allow anyone to see me in this store, it's too embarrassing. I'd rather they think I'm unemployed."

Here in Malaysia, I believe most women still buy their bras and undies from fellow female. But some find it embarrassing to shop for lingerie with men around. And it happens from time to time - men going to the lingerie shop with a female - sister, mother, daughter, wife - waiting for the women to make their purchases. Some are also consulted before final purchase is made. And some even go there alone to buy bras and undies for their female partner.

Which will make some female customers feel very conscious and uncomfortable merely with their presence. While the women might not subject to making their lingerie purchase from a male (at least in Saudi the women are covered from head to toe with exception of the eyes, so there is no telling how crimson a person's face would turn, being 'forced' to buy such a private piece of clothing from the opposite sex), some feel that there's an element of 'harrassment' to pick or buy a private garment in the presence of members of the different gender.

So, should men be banned from being near lingerie shops or lingerie section in the departmental store? Should they (like Saudi women) resort to buying lingerie online or when they go abroad? (Wacoal in Bangkok for an instance is a lot cheaper and more affordable than they are in Malaysia) If men were banned from entering lingerie shop or being near the lingerie section in the departmental store, it might make lingerie shopping a lot easier for many women. Some friends told me that they would go and kill some time elsewhere before hitting the undies and bras section upon seeing a guy in the vicinity. Especially so if they are browsing through really, really private stuff, like thongs. After all, imagination might run wild too upon seeing a man in the lingerie shop - it might not be so bad if the men who go there alone buy stuff for his wife - what if he's buying them for himself?

Ewww...

Anyway, what is the guideline for a man who wants to surprise his wife with lingerie? Too big and the wife might believe that he thinks of her as fat, and too small will be taken as a hint that he wants her to shed some pounds. Too conservative might lead the wife to believe that she's boring and too raunchy might be considered as trashy.

So, how?

Kenduri oh Kenduri

Hubby's younger brother is getting married next month. The last in the family to finally tie the knot. We just had a pre-kenduri last week - "ground breaking" of sort if the coming kenduri is likened to an "official opening".

All along I tried to chip in where possible - help packing the door gifts, for example (no more traditional 'bunga telur') and sometimes Pakcu, my youngest BIL would ask for my opinion on this and that and I'll share with him what little I know.

Last 2 years, Mak used to share how pening she was in preparing for Abang's wedding. I remember Mak telling me that she thought it would be easier than managing my kenduri because "kenduri sambut menantu" is supposed to be more relaxed but the reality is not as she expected. A Malay wedding reception, whether small or big, bridal or on the groom side, could still cause lots of headache, as well as tension-and-high-blood-pressure-inducing.

So, Pakcu's wedding is no exception. In a way, he's lucky because being the youngest in the family means he has lots of "sponsors". SIL No 1 & 2 'sponsored' the new bedroom set, SIL No 3 sponsored the hantaran (wedding gifts), hubby sponsored the door gifts, BIL no 5 sponsored paper bags for the door gifts and so on and so forth. And lets not even talk about 'sponsors' coming from other relatives and family friends. Yup, the groom is very lucky indeed.

Only that - like any other kenduri - it's not without its share of drama. Already SIL No 3 is unhappy with the groom-to-be's decision to have a pelamin (wedding dais). MIL said the same thing, stressing that none of her 5 kids who got married previously ever had a pelamin during the kenduri. My take?

"Hmm, having a pelamin would be nice for a photo shoot, but it should not be a top priority. No need to spend RM2000 for a temporary pelamin when that RM2000 could be used for more important stuff. But if you are willing to prepare a DIY pelamin - get a nice set of chairs, some beautiful flower arrangements, some nice linen as the background and all for a fraction of RM2000 - by all means, go ahead. And since this is what you want, and not what you need, be prepared to pay for it out of your own pocket, not Mak's. But the final decision must come from Mak. This is her majlis..."

I know, I know - it's the old debate of "whose majlis it is anyway?". The groom wants one thing, the parents another. For me, a wedding kenduri is a majlis for both - the married couple and the respective parents. Ideally, both party must be willing to tolerate and cooperate.

I didn't know that MIL is that stressed about coming wedding until last week, while I was helping with preparation for the pre-kenduri and she sighed, "Mak rasa dulu masa Amin kahwin lagi senang sebab banyak benda Haida yang tolong buatkan..."

Hah, I must admit that I was surprised because I remember my own Mak telling me something along the same line last 2 years. When I asked for clarification, turned out that MIL was still in the dark about lots of stuff - the wedding garments, how many guests from the bridal side will be coming to our kenduri etc. And she was also a bit upset with BIL's 'demands' - the pelamin, 'live' kompang (they played a recorded kompang for us 5 years ago and both hubby and I had nothing to complain about that), expensive photographer and all.

I must admit that for me, hiring a professional photographer, if one can afford it, is highly recommended. MIL argued that what with hubby having a DSLR, he can act as the wedding photographer without incurring much. I kept quiet, but I believe on the wedding day itself, hubby would be busy with entertaining guests and keeping stuff smooth that he would not have much time to act as a photographer.

Talking from my own experience, I am glad I paid for a professional photographer during the bridal side occassions - the akad nikah and the kenduri in Kg Tunku. Hubby said that he would ask his family to take the photos during the 'kenduri sambut menantu' in Seremban. And what do you know? We have two album of photos taken during akad nikah and kenduri in Kg Tunku, and 8 shots in Seremban. 8 amateur shots, if I may add. And you can't really blame the family members - there were hundreds of things need to be done and get done on the kenduri itself.

Pakcu told me that he and his fiancee had agreed to hire one photographer for all three occassions - the akad nikah, the bridal kenduri and the kenduri sambut menantu. Claimed that they scored a good bargain for the photography service as well as 'story book' album and all. Hmm, that sounds reasonable. But I really hope that he's going to work something out with MIL and his sisters, and come to an agreement on the pelamin thingy.

I also hope that he and his fiancee will communicate more with MIL so as not to let her worry about lots of details. Never let her fret unncecessarily. She has enough in her plate already.

By the way, although it has been a tradition of sort for hubby and I to celebrate our anniversary in a place we (or at least one of us) has never been before, this year it seems like we have to postpone it because our anniversary is just 2 days before Pakcu's wedding, insya Allah...

Kyoto - 'revisited'

Reading HE's entry on his trip to Kyoto brought back memories of our own trip in April 2008, more than a year ago.

Truth is, the only place we really visited in Kyoto was Kinkakuji a.k.a. the Golden Pavillion. After all, we did the Kyoto-Osaka-Kobe touch-and-go trip in one day, remember?

I remembered that day we started very early in the morning, to catch the first bus to Tokyo at 6.03 a.m., so as not to miss the second earliest Shinkansen Hikari at 7.03 a.m.

We boarded a 101 (or was it 104?) bus from Kyoto eki. A city bus that simultaneously acts as a sightseeing bus, that announce the name of places of interest along the bus route together with some brief description of each. In English too, mind you, and that's a rare experience in Japan.

Kyoto could be very charming - and one could witness that even during a short trip. There's the ultra modern part and then the old, rustic part; all blended so well that resulted in a charming Kyoto. It's different from the always-busy-and-lively Tokyo, yet it's not that much different. A contradiction in its own way.

Anyway, I remember a group of Nihonjin girls being fascinated with Huzaifah - who was about 2 1/2 year then. He got a lot of attention for having 'huge' 'kira-kira' eyes and showered with lots of attention - free sweets and candy included.

And I remember I had to change Huzaifah in a very public spot (the main viewing area) in Kinkakuji because his disposable diaper was already "terlondeh". I should have changed him in Kyoto eki, but we didn't know where exactly to wait for the bus and by the time we found the bus stand, the queue was already long so we did not want to miss the next bus. I thought it was okay to wait until we reach Kinkakuji to change Huzaifah, but well, my prediction was not exactly right... (Warning - the bus ride is a looong one. But worth it, at least in my opinion)

Kinkakuji is a UNESCO World Heritage site. The entrance ticket cost 400 yen per adult, but nobody could really take their own sweet time there as batches of tourists swarmed in, one after another. It was so crowded at the main viewing area that it was difficult to find one spot to take a family picture without other tourist appearing in the photo (hantu lilin). But once the group of tourists started walking around the grounds, it was not so bad as each of us get a little bit more 'personal' space.

I enjoyed the stroll around the grounds even though it was a bit tricky pushing the stroller along a pebbled path with hilly patches here and there. One cannot walk into the pavillion, cannot wander freely on the grounds and must follow an assigned one-way path, but still, it was lovely. Really. The golden pavillion, the calm lake, the 'islands' with tiny trees and/or bushes in the lake. Funny, but I must admit that it was serene despite the presence of so many tourists.

I think, given a chance I would like to visit other places in Kyoto. So many exotic places waiting to be visited - the Silver pavilion, the verandah without a single nail, the row of little shops selling souvenirs in Nenenomichi area... Maybe even try to shoot a picture of a geisha or maiko walking in Gion.

Some claim that Kinkakuji could be a waste of time - being too far from central Kyoto and not that close to other Kyoto's treasures. Still, I guess we were satisfied to have a taste of Kyoto by visiting Kinkakuji and boarding the city/sightseeing bus that day. Oh - and a macha ice cream at the end of the visit, made a beautiful tip of the iceberg.

Wanita materialistik?

That's the topic discussed in "Chit-chat Pagi" segment on MuzikFm this morning.

The callers on the radio seemed to basically agree that most women are materialistic - to different extent.

1. There are those "pisau cukur" type who will only fall for/date/marry rich guys because they look at the money factor first and foremost. This is the kind that most male callers talked about - the kind that give women a bad name.
2. Then, there are those who expect the guys to have more than them because they don't want to end up being the one to be the bread winner in the family. They feel that if they married those who are beneath themselves, then they are not doing justice to the future children because they fail to choose a responsible father. If they married those who do not earn at least as much as they do if not more, then they are not giving themselves much self respect because they are willing to stoop low and who knows how much lower they have to stoop later on. This group seemed to form the majority of the female callers, parents included ("Saya tak nak lah anak saya kahwin dengan orang yang pangkat dan gaji rendah dari anak saya, nanti apa saya nak jawab kalau orang tanya saya tak sayang anak ke?") .
3. Then, there are a few who believe in 'jodoh and rezeki di tangan Allah'. Yes, it is important that the guy has to be responsible and proves that he is willing to work hard to provide for the family. But who is to say that when you marry someone who doesn't earn that much, it will remain that way for the rest of your life? Who is to say that when you marry someone who earn a lot it will remain that way for the rest of your life? And if that happened, will you leave him just because he doesn't earn as much as he used to?

When Rasulullah married Saidatina Khadijah - she was a millionaire and he was working for her. In other words - she made a lot more than he did, but that did not deter her from marrying him as she fell for his sincerity, honesty, loyalty and good manners. Their marriage remained intact until Saidatina Khadijah passed away. For the duration of their marriage Rasulullah never married another. He only practised polygamy after Saidatina Khadijah passed away (a fact that many Ustaz seems to forget to include in their text when talking about polygamy in Islam) And even when he married others, his wives - including Saidatina Aisyah - were jealous of his deep love for Saidatina Khadijah.

Ah, but then he was a prophet. Maksum. Special.

Personally, I believe in looking more at the guy's attitudes than how much money he has. The attitudes go a long way insya Allah, the money, wallahua'lam. And of course, asking for Allah's guidance through solat istikharah is very important before one agrees to marry anybody. Merely using our head and heart is not enough without Allah's guide, so I believe istikharah is a HUGE factor in determining the 'one'.

I've seen some friends and relatives marrying someone who earns/earned less than themselves but alhamdulillah their marriages remain intact until today. I've seen a lady executive who married her boss' driver. Another lady executive married a clerk in the same office. The wives might be the main bread winner in the family, but both the husbands and wives don't let that bother them much. They both learned to take the meaning of "tolerance", "acceptance" and "respect" to another level compared to other 'common' couples.

So, is it true that most women are (or need to be at least a little) materialistic ?

E-Office for Orang Gomen

Is the Malaysian civil service really ready to adopt the home office concept?

Beginning January 2010, a selected group of 35 Public Works Department (JKR) draughtsmen will start working from home in a pioneer E-office initiative on a trial basis of 3 months. The programme will cease if productivity does not increase.

The KSN was reported as saying, "I also work from home. But I also work from my car, and when I go back to my hometown, I take my work with me. In this age of the Blackberry and Internet, it is not impossible to work from one's home."

Yeah, I know many of us government officers - who were often accused of being lazy and goyang kaki having nothing to do - take our work back home and continue working even at home.
But that's an extension of working at office. Now, now, if this work from home concept is going to be extended to other schemes in the civil service - that'll be like dream come true to many...

But who can actually work from home?
And should some groups in the civil service be given 'priority' of sort to work from home?

We know that for instance - policemen, firemen, doctors, nurses, teachers - can't work from home. So, who can? So far, it seems like the option is only open to those whose work is ICT based - draughtsmen, ICT support, CRM support and other technical persons whose work is all computer-and-internet-based.

Yes, the e-office concept is workable. It might help reducing the need to rent massive workplace, ease road congestion, reduce the burden on civil servants in terms of petrol expenses and travel time and allow them to spend more time with their families. E-office means one has 24 hours at his or her disposal in sorting out the work schedule instead of the usual 9 hours in the office.

Maybe the e-office will work well for 'disabled' civil servants - those who have disabilities due to accidents or are suffering from chronic diseases.

Maybe it'll provide a solution for mothers with small children who still want to work but don't want to spend so much time away from their children, especially when the children are sick and unwell. And yes, it'll be so easy to practise exclusive breastfeeding when the mother is working from home.

Maybe it'll help those who have to take care of sick and elderly parents/siblings/relatives.

And maybe it will work well for those who need to work in "bersunyi-sunyi" condition. The ICT guy/artist who has to come up with creative ideas to produce montage or documentaries for example. The chance to work alone in isolation might be good when one is in a project that requires intense and specific concentration.

So - it seems like a good policy, this e-office thingy. By allowing civil servants to work from home, the government might not lose those who are experts in their respective fields to untimely resignations or premature retirements. If the experts in the respective fields are retained, then this might help ensuring efficiency and boosting productivity in the public service.

Question: What about the control mechanisms to be used so that those who cannot work from home and still have to go to the office will not feel discriminated against those who are allowed to work from home?

Lets say Mr A is a draughtsman who is allowed to work from home, and
Mr B is a technician who has to go to the office.

Mr A might claim that since he works from the office, it's okay for him to go and lepak at Restoran Mamak at anytime he pleases, so long as he submitted all the sheets as required by his office.
Mr B, should him be caught at the same Restoran Mamak during the conventional working hour, could be subjected to disciplinary procedures. Notwithstanding the fact that he has finished all the tasks required from him.

Lets say Ms Y is a IT technician working on a creative montage and allowed to work from home, and Ms Z is a clerk who has to go to the office.

Ms Y might claim that she deserve to go to the shopping mall for a 'retail therapy' during the day after working long nights to produce the said montage.
Ms Z, should she be found undergoing a 'retail therapy' at the mall during office hour could be subjected to disciplinary procedures.

What is the definition of "absence" from work for those who work from home?
How does one apply for official leave when one is working from home?
How to determine the "lenght of time" (tempoh masa) of a person who work at home to be as adequate compared to his or her colleagues who work at the office?
Who is responsible to exercise disciplinary control and supervision over those who work from home?
What if those who work from home immerse themselves with immoral activities, or spend more time doing part-time jobs for additional income then concentrating on their 'real' job, although they get to claim for eletricity/internet connection/telephone bills?
What about the security aspects of those government assets in the E-office? The computers, expensive softwares, web cams, etc?

Personally, I like the idea of working from home.
But how to go about executing it as to be fair to everybody in the civil service still bothers me...

How To Cram for an Exam

Cramming - some say it is an 'inevitable' part of student life. Or at least, part of a government-servants-who-still- have-to-take-PTK-exams life. Heh.

Yeah, so it is not the ideal style of study, but I believe there are many of us who cram, and who like me, wait until the very last minute to submit our assignments (Hubby used to nag me on this - if the paper was due at 12.00 noon, chances were I would be writing my conclusion at around 11.30 a.m. Yes, I'm a self-confessed procrastinator).

So, how to cram for an exam?

1. Compose yourself. Relax, take several deep breaths to clear the mind.
2. Recite "bismillah" and any 'doa penerang hati'. Remember the one we used to read before the Ustaz/Ustazah begin teaching 'Agama', that goes - "Allahummaftah 'alaina hikmataka wanshur 'alaina min khoza inirohmatika ya arhamarrahimin"...
3. Cover the most difficult information first.
4. Review the main points, general ideas and broad, sweeping concepts - this help understanding the more detailed points
5. Read different materials at different speed. Skim lecture notes (your own or borrowed ones); speed-read less important items, deliberate on critical and difficult works.
6. Take breaks to solat, eat, stretch, relax or exercise. As a general rule, one should take a break for 10 minutes out of every hour.
7. Jot down quick notes, questions or thoughts -it helps improve retention of important points.
8. Nourish yourself - go easy on caffeine and sugar, eat good meals with a balanced ratio of carbohydrates to proteins plus plenty of fruits, vegetables and water.
9. Avoid staying up all night. But if it cannot be avoided, I've been told that repetitious reading of surah Al-Lahab might help to keep one stay awake all night long.

* Adapted from "Cram for an Exam", chapter 9 in Collins eHow "How to do just about everything in the Office", 2004

What's with the "Tuan'?

One poster announced the date & venue of a talk for young PTD.
Written there was the name of the speaker, beginning with "Tuan".
Being a senior officer, I recognize his name and I know that his name does not start with "Tuan". I found that a bit funny - to be addressed as "tuan" in his capacity as a senior officer is one thing, to have his name written as "Tuan XYZ" on the poster announcing the details of a talk is another.

Next to the poster was another poster announcing the details of a workshop, " Do Your Make up Right". The speaker is a reknown male Lancome make-up artist. Nope, no "Tuan" there in his name. Just his name.

Granted, you can't compare a senior PTD to a make-up artist. But was it really necessary to write the former's name beginning with "Tuan"? What's wrong with just "Encik"?

I asked another PTD and she said that "Tuan" is a symbol of respect while "Encik" is too common, you can address simply anybody, the support staff included, as "Encik", but "Tuan" is reserved to the respected ones only.

I must admit that sometimes I feel uneasy when people say that we PTD are a snobbish and arrogant lot. That we like to distance ourselves from the "marha'en". That we, after years of being told to be the "creme de la creme" in the government service, are a Syok Sendiri lot who have huge tendencies to "berlagak", "bongkak", "sombong". But this is exactly the kind of behavior that might lead to the misperception of PTD being the snobbish and arrogant lot. Why do we need to distinguish "Tuan" from "Encik" just because "Encik" is a common way to address everybody? What made us so special?

I don't believe in distancing myself from the support staff or lower officer. That was not the example shown by Rasulullah - he never distanced himself from anybody. If Rasulullah, the numero uno for Muslims never distanced himself from others, who are we - hamba Allah yang serba dhaif - to do so?

So, I found the "Tuan" thingy on the poster a bit disturbing. It is as if we PTD are full of ourselves - when one cannot address a senior PTD with a Dr. or Dato'/Datuk/Tan Sri etc, it has to be "Tuan" then. Addressing a person with "tuan" in real life or in a formal letter/memo does not sound so bad - but on a poster? I mean, seriously?

Again, my question is - what's wrong with using the good ol' "Encik"?
If an 'Encik' was equated to 'Mister', and 'Tuan' to 'Sir', what's wrong with being addressed as a Mister and not a Sir?

How to make small talk

1. Practise. Converse with everyone you encounter - cashiers, waiters, people you're in a queue with, neighbours, co-workers. Chat with people unlike yourself, from the elderly to kids to tourists.
2. Read everything - cookbooks, newspapers, magazines, reviews, signs, catalogues. Everything could provide information that might turn into interesting conversations
3. Immerse yourself in culture, both 'high' and 'low'. TV, music, sports, art and poetry are great sources of chat - whether you are for or against.
4. Expand your horizons. Go home a new way. Try sushi. Play paintball or lawn bowling. Paint a watercolour or a house. Just try something new.
5. Be a better listener. Observe stories that you hear, remember things that you see and you might get an opportunity to share needed info through making small talk.
6. Test yourself - see what you have to say on a random list of topics. Golf, China, soy protein, hip-hop, shoes - the more varied your list, the better.
7. The more you know, the more you know you can talk about.

* Adapted from "Make Small Talk", chapter 170 in Collins eHow "How to do just about everything in the Office", 2004

When he came home late

"Guess who'll reach home first, Ayah or us?," I playfully asked Huzaifah when we started our journey back to Putrajaya after being away from home for four days. I was asked to give a talk in Langkawi, so I thought it would be good to visit my biological mother on the way back, thus I brought all three boys with me, together with my helper and Mak's helper. It was my third trip to Langkawi this year, but the first in which I had to drive all the way to Kuala Perlis alone (during previous trips, I either drove a little or not at all)

We stopped by at Kampung Tunku first on our way back from Kedah. It was almost 10.00 p.m. when I started driving back to Putrajaya, hence me questioning Huzaifah. Hubby had to teach in Labu, his routine on the second and the fourth Sundays of every month, and his 'class' usually ends at around 9.30p.m. followed by dinner which usually ends at 10.30 p.m. or sometimes later.
I thought hubby would be home by 11.30 or 12 midnight the latest. I called his handphone but was immediately connected to his voicemail. When there was no sign of him arriving after midnight, my helper asked me if I would like her to accompany me waiting upstairs. That's our normal routine, when hubby is not around, my bibik would sleep with the children upstairs instead of in her own room downstairs just to keep me company.

I called his handphone again - and got the voicemail.
Numerous calls placed at different times got the same response - the voicemail.

I began to worry.
It's not like hubby to return late without calling first. Or an SMS, at the very least.
Labu is still a remote place after all - with the quiet, large, dark plantations and all.
Anything could happen and there might not be coverage for the phone.
He was not using our car but had to loan my cousin Faiz's Myvi, and who knows what could happen in that dark secluded area where it would not be easy to get access to a tow truck should anything unbecoming happened...

I started making do'a for him. I thought of calling my MIL's place in Seremban, but it was already late and I did not want to bother my MIL at such hour. After all, it could be nothing and I didn't want her - with her hypertension and all - to start fretting about nothing.

But still, I was worried.
Think, think, what could be his reason to be late? "Maybe he went to give the old Imam a visit," or so I told myself, to calm myself down. Hubby had told me about the Imam who had twice experienced stroke and is currently undergoing treatment using BioDisc and already there seems to be signs of recovery for the Imam.

When Baby Haniyya woke up for his midnight/early morning feed at around 2.00 a.m., hubby was still not back.

When Huzaifah 'mengigau' at around 4.00 a.m., hubby was still not back.

While one part of my mind told myself to stay calm, that nothing was wrong; the other half of my mind went "what if? what if?" with all sort of horror stuff. Yes, my imagination can run wild sometimes...

When hubby finally returned at about 5.30 a.m. I wanted to simultaneously punch him and hug him. I kissed his hands instead.

"Why are you late?". It's hard not to sound like a nagging wife after one long restless night.

"Oh, I left something in Rasah, so I went back to Rasah after the class was over in Labu. I felt sleepy so I thought of taking a short nap first before returning home..."

"Why didn't you call?"

"The battery went dead and I really thought it was going to be a short nap. I mean, I didn't intend to spend the night there, but..." He smiled weakly.

Heh, good thing I'm not the kind that stabs her husband when he comes home late.
Seriously, a phone call could put all those unnecessary worries away.
But then, the main point was, he was safe and sound and back home in one piece...
Right then, that's what mattered most and I was really grateful for that, alhamdulillah.
So I gave him a hug.
A tight hug.
And uttered a thankful do'a quietly.

Hero-hero

Huzaifah and Humaidi refused to sit still in the ferry, all the way from Kuala Perlis to Langkawi.
Nothing - no cajoling, persuasion, threats or even cubit - worked to make them stay in the seat for a long time. They ran along the aisle, climbed the windows to take a peek at the ocean and isles, and tried to climb the ladder leading to the VIP area in the ferry.

Good thing that Mak agreed to loan her helper during this trip, so at least I could pass the baton to the younger girl to chase my kids around the ferry. My helper took turn with her chasing & grabbing Huzaifah and Humaidi while I took care of Baby Haniyya. Alhamdulillah Baby Haniyya is not old enough to join his brothers in the merry chase...

I knew that the passengers must had been disturbed by Huzaifah's and Humaidi's shrieks and gleeful cries but there was little I could do to make them completely stop. I nodded and smiled weakly at other passengers around us - pleading silently that they would understand and forgive me for my children behaviour.

But guess who did I see upon entering the hotel lobby after we arrived in Langkawi?
The same group of people who boarded the ferry with me.
And as if it was not enough - Huzaifah demanded a ride in the luggage trolley - insisting that it was his Thomas train and not merely a trolley for transporting luggages. (Alhamdulillah by then Humaidi was asleep - perhaps exhausted due to his non-stop running/climbing/shrieking in the ferry). All the drama in front of the same crowd we had in the ferry.

So, it was no wonder that, when he passed us by, a guy in a ketayap commented to my helper - "Hero hero semuanya, ya?"

Aduh!

Makcik-makcik?

"What happened? Why do you look so makcik-makcik now?"

Alamak!

We haven't seen each other for a year - the last meeting just a brief one while he was waiting for his domestic posting after his term in Bangkok was over. I was happy to be able to meet him while I was in Kuantan yesterday, attending a discussion there. He was among my earliest colleagues, as we used to work in the same department in the old Ministry. Apart from both of us being law graduates from UK - he from Cardiff and I from Leeds, he also married an old classmate in NCUK. And we certainly had gone through a lot together - being under the same irresponsible boss and a workaholic bigger boss. I know Ali has always been honest with me, but well, I was still a bit shocked to hear him making that statement about me looking like a 'makcik'...

I looked at my own picture on his digital camera. He had a point. A valid point. The person standing next to him in the picture looked more like a 'makcik' than someone in her thirties.

Adoi!

Maybe it was the color of my baju kurung, or the glasses, or that I still have a lot of "baby fat" to dispose of - but he had a valid point. I know for a fact that I do look older wearing glasses than contact lenses, but lately after the infection case I went through during Raya, I prefer wearing glasses than lenses.

Oh well...

With Ernie, a clerk in my office who I've grown to love like my own sister

Mak & Ayah's 25th Wedding Anniversary

They say that it calls for a celebration when a couple remain together for a quarter of a century, so I guess that's what prompted Ayah - who for the first time ever, made it a point to celebrate his wedding anniversary with us the children.

We had dinner at Paya Serai Restaurant in PJ Hilton, after my younger brother Abang (who btw has been featured in this month's International Business Journal) reported that the restaurant Ayah was hoping to go to in Section 14 was closed. So PJ Hilton was it.

It was quite a quiet family dinner with just us kids minus the grandchildren. The food was okay (I expected it to be better - proof that it has been long since I last had a meal in PJ Hilton), the price reasonable (less than RM50 per pax) and the chic interior design with metallic and silver shades made an appropiate setting for a dinner celebrating a silver wedding anniversary.

Dear Mak & Ayah,

Twenty five (or twenty four plus one) years of marriage is an amazing feat, especially in this world where statistics had shown that half of all marriages end in divorce. Alhamdulillah, yours remained.

We hope that the ups and downs, the good times and the bad times, the trials and the joyous ocassions, the laughters and the tears, the itches, glitches and gleeful moments, happiness and sorrows, joy and losses that you have endured and gone through together shall serve as the glue that will keep you together with the blessings of Allah subhana wa taala.

Here's a loving do'a that Allah will keep on blessing you with love, patience, courage and strength for both of you to keep on being committed and dedicated to each other.

"In marriage, do thou be wise;
prefer the person before the money,
virtue before beauty
the mind before the body"

With love,
Kak & Amin
2 November 2009

What kindness is...

"Kindness... has an optimal level that makes it a virtue as opposed to a vice.
Too little or too much transforms it into something ugly or suspect.
Too much courage can make one foolhardy,
too much pride can make one haughty,
too much politeness can make one officious,
too much love can make one covetous,
and too much kindness can make one a dupe"

"Leading with kindness", William Baker, Michael O'Malley

What should I do...

I haven't gone to the gym for months now.
I should start going again.

I haven't started writing my 'Travelog di Bumi Sakura'.
I should start writing it.

I haven't visited the list of possible kindergartens/Taski for Huzaifah
I should start visiting.

I need to strenghten threads of relationships to become ropes
I should start working on them.

I feel like I might be happier if I could contribute positively to another's life
But unlike when I was a Malaysian-MA-student-cum-an-Imam's-wife in Tokyo,
I am not quite sure how to play my current role effectively to achieve that.

I know I should start making changes.
Can anyone tell me where to start?

All pink - part 2

All pink in the office

"So you wore pink - what difference does it make to a breast cancer sufferer? Wearing pink without putting in effort or contributing towards cancer research or as such, is simply meaningless..."

Someone uttered in a tone laced with disdain.

Ok, granted, I've never contributed financially towards breast cancer research.
And to my limited knowledge, no one in my family had suffered from breast cancer.
And that day when the whole sector wore pink, nobody suggested for us to make financial contribution towards cancer research.
But others from different sectors noticed us wearing pink and asked us why.
That to me, was our small contribution towards raising awareness of breast cancer.
It shows, in a small way, (perhaps insignificant to some) that we care.


Personally, I don't pass by the red cooking oil, Carotino in the supermarket aisle without remembering Auntie Umi, my friend Aidil's mother. It came as a big surprise when we first learned about Auntie Umi's illness. She breastfed all 4 children, no one in her family had been diagnosed with cancer before, she was an active person and pretty much lived and ate healthily. Proof that it could happen to anyone - regardless of what the doctors list as risk factors.

What I do remember about her -
She fought hard, but she did not became all hard and bitter in her fight.
She cried, but she also smiled, putting up a brave front so that others would not cry for her.
She must had gone through lot of pain, but I remember her jovial self more .
In her quiet tone when she answered questions about her pain , I could sense her strong determination to fight, fight, fight until the last drop.
She made a lot of changes in her diet and her lifestyle - Carotino and plenty of soy milk forming part of it.

I did not have the opportunity to visit her when her condition must had deteriorated towards the end of her life, but I'm sure that she must had gone in peace.
There was a lot of strength shown by someone who could accept her condition, fought hard yet still counted her blessings and at peace with herself.


So, yes, perhaps wearing pink might constitute a small, insignificant thing to do, when many are fighting the cancer and others are taking care of their loved ones who had been diagnosed with this cancer.
Still, the main intention is to show our support and letting those who are suffering to know that they are not alone, that people actually do care, and that some of them (like Auntie Umi to me) are in our heart, thoughts and prayers.

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"My Only Wish"

A poem read by an 8 year old boy at Criminalise War International Conference & Exhibition, Kuala Lumpur, 28 September 2009

My Only Wish

All your armies

All your fighters

All your tanks

And all your soldiers

Against a boy

Holding a stone

Standing there, all alone

In his eyes, I see the sun

In his smile, I see the moon

And I wonder, I only wonder

Who is weak, and who is strong?

Who is right, and who is wrong?

And I wish, I only wish

That the truth, has begun

* Picture taken from here

Rampai Raya 1430H - the pics

Some pictures taken during Raya season
Yes, I know, yet another belated post...
Still, late is better than never, kan?

Raya morning - when Humaidi went cranky and refused to stand still

Taken when Humaidi was calmer but apparently the baton had been passed over to Huzaifah. Well, looks like it's going to be some years before we can take 'proper' family Raya photo...

Raya afternoon - when the kids' baju melayu went all smeared with don't-know-whats

(taken during a short interval at MIL's place before we continued visiting others)

Hubby had a change of clothes too, because otherwise people keep mistaken his nephews and niece as his

(baju sama warna)

Ayah really enjoyed his newly found long-lost-favorite nasi kandar - licin pinggan, with my brother Amirul in a finger lickin' good pose.

Part of the Hj Hassan clan in a kopitiam in Penang

My brother Azrul, SIL Sarah (who was then heavily pregnant with baby Balqis) & Uwais

Baby Haniyya

Huzaifah and Humaidi watching TV

For some reason, I found the mock 'tie' that comes with Humaidi's/Haniyya's shirt to be quite cute

Chik Ma, Pak Chik, Ayah Tam and Mak Tam sharing a light moment during breakfast

The Hj Hassan clan basically 'conquered' all the tables next to the pool during breakfast.

Seen here: Teh, Atiqah, Ayah Lang - with Firdhaus and Eda in the background

Nyah, Ijan, Ain, Iman, Mak and Syahril

Among the male cousins

Huzaifah and Humaidi had a gall time in the swimming pool

Huzaifah especially loves basking in the sun and playing with the white beach sand

The 3 families reunion at Che Lee's place in Taman PKNK, Alor Setar